it was a lot of time wasted. i was actually anticipating a fun and fulfilled weekend ahead. i didnt have much chance to get a weekend of 4 days that long ever since my enlistment! it turned out i was just rotting away at home thinking all the precious time that i could have spend doing more meaningful things. of cos, if given a choice, jerry would surely not be in front of the monitor feeling so grouchy and sulking over his weekends.

but anyway, just to update, i miss cheryl a lot!! i didnt have the slightest idea how i badly i needed her until she left for Australia. i took it lightly. i though it was just but another test for our relationship until i realise its going to be a long time ahead. 'She will come back soon enough!", that's what i always tell myself wheneveri think of her.

it was not long before i finally managed to have her appearing on my monitor screen. i tried all sorts of ways to communicate with her. having to be able to talk to her after all the desperate waiting was like the greatest thing that ever happened to me ever since NS. sometimes in the middle of the night or even during my afternoon naps, i will uncontrollably start to miss her and reminisce of all the things in the past.

i always wonder in the camp why the sms from her was always so seldom. i have to admit that it makes me start to worry that our relationship could have all been superficial to her. she told me that it is expensive to sms, but for me, i think i am willing even to pay for that exorbitant price to talk to her. the boredom in her voice also seems to confirm my thoughs. i have to admit that i am really lousy at talking. whenever i managed to reach her, i will inevitably start to be awkward at expressing my feelings to her and start making casual remarks of everyday life so that i could hear her voice for a longer period of time. it aint what i want to say, i just want to make her feel how much i am missing her now and that i am really hoping to be just next to her.